Chronicles of Charyl

Now, why does that make me afraid? Is it because she's the first from us four sisters to "move out and on"? Is it because there's no turning back in this path? Is it because we hardly know the husband-to-be, though that's true for practically everyone? Is it because of her stunning courage to take that plunge, while I stay trembling in this loneliness and ideals? Is it because I don't want to let go of her? Is it because I am not quite sure what will happen to her when there's already another name attached to hers? Is this even fear I am feeling? This is one of the very, very important moments of my sister's life, and somehow, I can't release the rope. Can't we stay as sisters forever? Why does someone have to come in and divert her love from us? Although I know for a fact that her love is not diverted, just increased. It seems that I'm on a cliff, with the dark seawaters below me, crashing the waves to those massive wall-rocks belo...

“There she is again!” I excitedly looked and jumped for glee as I watched the moon with that same warmth in my heart. She stands proud and stark in that dark, grayish sky, accompanied by a handful of stars, mostly constellations. In that peaceful May evening, I promised myself to confess my heart to the love of my life. “Hey there!” I said, swaying my whole body in excitement as I saw her glance at me (just a glance, but I didn’t mind!) She is so beautiful, so radiant, so, ah, I lost words to describe her beauty. I don’t know, but somehow, I just want to be with her for all time. It’s just a pity that sometimes, she’s present, other times she’s not. But I’m aware she’s just there, and I’m always looking forward to her next appearance. “I’m here again!” I called out once more, as I noticed her chatting with her fellow celestial bodies. Can I ever persuade her to talk to me? What will she say? How will she react with what I am going to tell her? “Excuse me, may I have a precious m...

------------ ------------ ------------ (the conversation between a mentor and a mentee (if there ever is such)) ------------ ------------ ------------ Student: ___, can I ask u sumthn?... hehe.. ds myb such a rily early time of d day 2 ask such..bt I rily ned 2ask it!! Teacher: Go S: Hehe..Cnxa na ka ___ ha.. NiReply man jud kah...hehe.. Uhm, how do one get her mind off som1?.. T: By not trying so hard to, but not dwellng on it too long. A mind dat doesnt meditate on God’s word is a toy of many unpleasant n etc thots. S: Oh!... Doesn’t meditate on God’s word… : Hehehe… I nid dat pukol sa ulo… its tempting 2say I shudnt hav askd nlng n d 1st place… hahaha… bt I needd that…! Haizt! T: Oh well. both are by grace. Wat I mean is, it’s our part to offer. It’s God’s part to sanctify. Evrytng by grace anyhow. S: I do have QTs… Bt I gues,oder thots overtake… Uhm, does ds go on saying we can actually control wat we shud think?.. T: Yes. We can. Renewing of one’s mind is a discipline. Loving ...

If eyes are made for seeing Then I guess this is blindness That in my sight is besetting. I cannot see the good in bad - When something destructs The comfort road I trod. I cannot see hope in desperation – When injustice comes knocking And forces its visitation. I cannot see joy in pain – When my heart is beaten and torn And the pieces scatter in ruins. I cannot see blessings in struggles – When my strength is spent And ahead still lie the hurdles. I cannot see provision in nothingness – In times when I’m in deep need And help seems away from reach. But someone sees what I can’t see – Beyond my failing eyes, Beyond my faltering me. I wish I have her eyes – The eyes of FAITH that ever sees God’s grace without disguise. ~L.C.A. 18 January 2010 (A very close friend is about to have an eye operation. Her name is Faith. What a name, isn’t it?)

But for the first time in my life, I just don’t want it to arrive. I’ve always been the Christmas “fanatic”, if I may use the word for the lack of better term. I look forward to the gifts, merry-makings, game prizes, foods, firework-displays, decorated trees, blinking lights, well-lit highways, excited chats and shouts of laughter. When I started working, my list adds the following: more parties, more foods, cantatas, special numbers, bonuses, and cash gifts. So, what seems to be the problem this time? I don’t know. Christmas has just suddenly become so expensive! You know what I mean: Buy gifts for this and that, contribute for parties here and there, and travel everywhere. It has also become so detailed – “What’s our theme for this year’s party?”, “Your food assignment is (that one which sounds European)”, “I hope my manito/a would give me something from (an elite clothes brand)”. Ok fine! What had gone wrong? Had I not ever grasped it at all? Where has all my overwhelmed de...

Just as the country is overwhelmed with joy for the honor received after international television network CNN awarded Hero of the Year to Filipino Efren Peñaflorida, we are then overwhelmed with devastating emotions, after a politician’s family was massacred in Mindanao area, which reflected the dangerous “other side of the coin” of the country that heroes like Efren represented. As if in a playground, the series of events is a seesaw, an alternate of up and down play. Unfortunately, this is the real thing, and not just a child’s typical after-school pastime. I confess I have gone ecstatic to speechless when these details flashed before me. I mean, how am I supposed to react about this, I should describe as, injustice? Shall I be angry because of the self-serving motives of the attack, if indeed proven that it was politically motivated as popularly alleged? Or shall I just focus my thoughts on the less violent ones, (like Efren or Manny Pacquiao’s victories for the nation) that I may b...