Chronicles of Charyl

The latest surging of price crises, fare rates and some more series of protests against that have discreetly brought worry into my fragile heart. I’d say fragile because even small matters can break it. Questions about survival, resources and perseverance begin to gather in my thoughts. How am I supposed to survive with my meager salary? Have I already saved enough? Am I going to make a new budget allocation again for these additional increases? Should I now go and get a sideline? What if I will also go with those labor group protests, because after all, I am already silently protesting within me? With the prices going up and my salary at steady position, it’s impossible not to worry. And sadly, I admit I did worry. One day as I did my usual morning brisk walk to the office, I pondered upon these questions in my heart. And how sad I was in thinking about those things! I turned to look at the flowers, and their beauty no longer brought a smile to my lips. I looked up to the c...

The past week, the weather had been a series of heavy rains, raindrops, cloudy skies, and some sunshine. And as if in melody, my own feelings went with the weather. When it’s going to rain, or when dark clouds hung in the skies, I feel gloomy and sad, as if nothing good is going to happen to me that day. And when a little sunshine would show up in the middle of or late in the day, I become excited and more energized to do my tasks. I realized how dependent my feelings were to the weather, and so I asked myself why I acted that way. Have I just been going with the weather, or am I really like that, changeable as the weather? The latter option makes me afraid, because that’s the last thing I would want to be, to be as changeable as the weather. I want to be strong. I want to be firm. I want to be reliable, and not just go with the flow, or in this case, with the climate’s changes. **Sigh!!!** Well, I guess, I still don’t know myself that much after all. This is again another tim...

Is there anything wrong with me? That’s really a painful question to ask, but I also realized it could be humbling. One humbling moment of my life came one day when the people whom I expected would bring me along with them left me. Ok fine (so in frustration I asked myself), so is there really anything wrong with me? I suddenly realized I was hurt by what they did. I asked, is it about me, or perhaps I’ve done that made them decide not to include me? But hey, where had all my “I’m special in God’s eyes” thoughts go??? And that was when I saw that I had been misled by my own thoughts. How did I ever come to the conclusion that they left me because they don’t like me if I haven’t even asked them why? How did I ever think of them that way when it was still the first time it happened with us? And how could I afford to doubt what they think of me when considering the time we’ve spent together, they’ve been honest and good-hearted people? And so that’s why it was a humbling experienc...