CHRISTIANS are HYPOCRITES?
I am a Christian. I believe and accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I follow Him and His teachings in my everyday thinking, talking and walking. I am sure that when I die, I will get to be with God in heaven, because that is what He promised to those who believed in Him. But YES, I am also a hypocrite.
I grew up in a Christian church, having a Reverend Pastor as father, well-versed in every known Bible story and always “sticking to the rules”, that is why, I despise (please make that criticize) those who are “not like me”.
I don’t speak foul words, you know, like the “F*ck” and “Sh*t” lingo, and I am “proud” of it. When my close friend got involved in PMS (Pre-marital s*x), I heart-fully told her God is not happy with what she did, but until now, I’ve never had the heart to give even just one gift to her child. I abhor ladies dressed in so revealing ways, and freely label them in my mind as “easy-to-get girls”, but I “love to be called” a “decent” woman. I tell my church-mates they should invite their friends to attend Sunday services, but when a visitor enters the door, I first look at him head to foot, and decide if I should talk to him. If he looks alright, invite him next Sunday; if he looks “baduy”, just ignore him. I tell another church-mate that she should encourage her sister to attend church events again, but I despise that sister of hers because she’s so “worldly”, so very unlike me. I openly appreciate my parents for their help and support to our widow neighbor and her family, but I murmured as I took out P20.00 from my wallet when my Nanay asked me to buy for the widow’s dinner viand. This widow’s youngest daughter is my “kinugos” and the child was so delighted, but I was not happy carrying her with my arms on her dedication because she smelled bad and wore a tattered dress. She always smiles at me each time I get home, and so excited to welcome her “ninang”, and I ask her how she is, “just so” she would not feel I don’t like her. I was angry that our other neighbor didn’t take care of their ageing grandmother, (they even publicly reprimand the poor old woman), but I can’t even hand out the remaining banana cue I’ve been eating as she hungrily looks at me pass by. I feel so nauseated each time I see two females obviously in a “steady relationship” because I am “confident” I will “never” do what they’re doing. I love to encourage my friends about how to be a real Christian, but when a street-child sells to me a sampaguita necklace for her next meal, I hasten my steps away from him. I talk about God is so good to me, but I don’t care if others can relate with me in that.
And I expect that I would be given a standing ovation for saying these things, because yes, I would love that. I would love to be called good, because yes, I am a hypocrite.
But please…. Do not question God’s goodness just because I don’t hand the remaining parts of my hamburger to a beggar. Do not question God’s love if I just “appear to love giving a hug” to a smelly child. Do not question God’s mercy and grace if I support criticisms of the illicit relationships of local celebrities. God is love. He is good. He is merciful and gracious. And truth is, no matter how much I tried, I cannot defend Him just by what I do, because God is GOD even without me.
But although God Almighty doesn’t cease to be God regardless of my obedience or disobedience, it is still not an excuse for me to “strive” to be what He wants me to be. I may be a hypocrite, and may be “attempting” only to be not one, but I have also learned that God does honor that small attempt. He is still that same Father who runs to His prodigal son with open arms, and finds no problem in welcoming him yet again if he goes wild in his escapades the nth time around.
I am “trying” not to blur the image of Christ’s forgiveness by my lifestyle, but if I did, please forgive me. There’s only just one request I have to make. If you can’t accept a Christian like me because of what I’ve been doing, just accept Christ for who He is. I may not be able to justify His love, mercy and grace by what I do, but that will never make Him any less loving, merciful and gracious. I think, Mr. Leo Tolstoy articulates it better than I: “If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side?”
I make this confession not so that I would be accepted by the society, although I long to be, but so that I would be reminded again and again that I stand equal with all the rest of humankind before God’s holy throne.
But I will still strive to do better the next time around. I will still try to accept people but not tolerate their actions. I will still make every effort to be like Jesus, to love and accept people for who they are, and myself for who I am. And I know that by God’s grace I will get there - and I have to start from here. I know God will help me, in the same way He will to all those who would ask from Him.
I grew up in a Christian church, having a Reverend Pastor as father, well-versed in every known Bible story and always “sticking to the rules”, that is why, I despise (please make that criticize) those who are “not like me”.
I don’t speak foul words, you know, like the “F*ck” and “Sh*t” lingo, and I am “proud” of it. When my close friend got involved in PMS (Pre-marital s*x), I heart-fully told her God is not happy with what she did, but until now, I’ve never had the heart to give even just one gift to her child. I abhor ladies dressed in so revealing ways, and freely label them in my mind as “easy-to-get girls”, but I “love to be called” a “decent” woman. I tell my church-mates they should invite their friends to attend Sunday services, but when a visitor enters the door, I first look at him head to foot, and decide if I should talk to him. If he looks alright, invite him next Sunday; if he looks “baduy”, just ignore him. I tell another church-mate that she should encourage her sister to attend church events again, but I despise that sister of hers because she’s so “worldly”, so very unlike me. I openly appreciate my parents for their help and support to our widow neighbor and her family, but I murmured as I took out P20.00 from my wallet when my Nanay asked me to buy for the widow’s dinner viand. This widow’s youngest daughter is my “kinugos” and the child was so delighted, but I was not happy carrying her with my arms on her dedication because she smelled bad and wore a tattered dress. She always smiles at me each time I get home, and so excited to welcome her “ninang”, and I ask her how she is, “just so” she would not feel I don’t like her. I was angry that our other neighbor didn’t take care of their ageing grandmother, (they even publicly reprimand the poor old woman), but I can’t even hand out the remaining banana cue I’ve been eating as she hungrily looks at me pass by. I feel so nauseated each time I see two females obviously in a “steady relationship” because I am “confident” I will “never” do what they’re doing. I love to encourage my friends about how to be a real Christian, but when a street-child sells to me a sampaguita necklace for her next meal, I hasten my steps away from him. I talk about God is so good to me, but I don’t care if others can relate with me in that.
And I expect that I would be given a standing ovation for saying these things, because yes, I would love that. I would love to be called good, because yes, I am a hypocrite.
But please…. Do not question God’s goodness just because I don’t hand the remaining parts of my hamburger to a beggar. Do not question God’s love if I just “appear to love giving a hug” to a smelly child. Do not question God’s mercy and grace if I support criticisms of the illicit relationships of local celebrities. God is love. He is good. He is merciful and gracious. And truth is, no matter how much I tried, I cannot defend Him just by what I do, because God is GOD even without me.
But although God Almighty doesn’t cease to be God regardless of my obedience or disobedience, it is still not an excuse for me to “strive” to be what He wants me to be. I may be a hypocrite, and may be “attempting” only to be not one, but I have also learned that God does honor that small attempt. He is still that same Father who runs to His prodigal son with open arms, and finds no problem in welcoming him yet again if he goes wild in his escapades the nth time around.
I am “trying” not to blur the image of Christ’s forgiveness by my lifestyle, but if I did, please forgive me. There’s only just one request I have to make. If you can’t accept a Christian like me because of what I’ve been doing, just accept Christ for who He is. I may not be able to justify His love, mercy and grace by what I do, but that will never make Him any less loving, merciful and gracious. I think, Mr. Leo Tolstoy articulates it better than I: “If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side?”
I make this confession not so that I would be accepted by the society, although I long to be, but so that I would be reminded again and again that I stand equal with all the rest of humankind before God’s holy throne.
But I will still strive to do better the next time around. I will still try to accept people but not tolerate their actions. I will still make every effort to be like Jesus, to love and accept people for who they are, and myself for who I am. And I know that by God’s grace I will get there - and I have to start from here. I know God will help me, in the same way He will to all those who would ask from Him.
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