My Sister Is Getting Married

Now, why does that make me afraid? Is it because she's the first from us four sisters to "move out and on"? Is it because there's no turning back in this path? Is it because we hardly know the husband-to-be, though that's true for practically everyone? Is it because of her stunning courage to take that plunge, while I stay trembling in this loneliness and ideals? Is it because I don't want to let go of her? Is it because I am not quite sure what will happen to her when there's already another name attached to hers?

Is this even fear I am feeling?

This is one of the very, very important moments of my sister's life, and somehow, I can't release the rope. Can't we stay as sisters forever? Why does someone have to come in and divert her love from us? Although I know for a fact that her love is not diverted, just increased.

It seems that I'm on a cliff, with the dark seawaters below me, crashing the waves to those massive wall-rocks below, and my sister is about to jump in. It is her decision. She chose. But I can't let her do so. The waters might be too dangerous. There might be rocks down there which can crush her bones. There might be sharks that will immediately surround and devour her. The one waiting for her down might not be able to support her as he said he would.

Fears. Fears. Fears. Only fears.

But if I hold on to my fears, I'm like choking my sister to death, letting her stick with the comfort zone she grew up with, until she stagnates, stops growing, and die without any sense of how beautiful and sweet romantic love is. I heard that there are pains, but there are also joys. I heard that there are tears, but there are also laughters. I heard that there are diseases, but there are also healings. The coin always has two sides, and it can't exist without the other. Somehow, both sides make the coin so valuable. And that's how the married life is. One can't just go for it because it's sweet, or back down because it's bitter. Both sides are needed. And these are essentials for the persons to grow, close, to their Maker who rescues and rewards them in this journey, and to each other, who will be their permanent companion as long as they live.

My heart is breaking, and my tears are probably not ending. But it is with joy that I'll walk with her in this aisle, not just on her wedding day, but for the rest of her life. We are sisters after all.

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